Wow, this was a pretty astounding episode. We learned who Wicked’s father was(glad I abandoned the good ship Rumple last week!), we saw ghost Cora pimp slap Regina down a hallway, and we learned how much more creepy the family tree almost got.
A random gardener pretending to be a prince is Wicked’s father. That led to Cora almost marrying her daughter’s husband! Before he married Snow’s mother! Creeeeeeeepy! Cora invoked the whole “Your best chance” line and I said to Alex “Another one? Really?” Weird. I have to admit that I was jumping up and down a lot and reading text messages from my niece through the episode, so i probably missed some things, so there is a chance we will come back and amend this later. Alex did call that Rumpy was trying to get his dagger back, but I was too squicked out to watch what was happening. I was hoping that was the reason, though.
Let’s check out our past predictions and make some new ones, shall we?:
*Still no Rapunzel, so I am still right.
*I am so glad I decided last week to jump off the Rumpy is the daddy ship! Good call, me. Some random guy isn’t much better, but at least we have an answer. Alex has nothing because he didn’t think Rumpy was the father anyway.
*Snow is the one who took some kind of weird trauma tonight, so Charming is beating me on this. Alex says he is being a jerk and needs to get some brain trauma.
*Regina continued to make excellent progress this week. She didn’t blame Snow for the fact that her mother tattled on Cora, and that is why Wicked is mad at them all. She also made smoochies with Robin Hood. Well done, Regina!
*Hook did not kiss Emma, so that is a point for me. As always, Alex still does not think Hook is pretty, and I do.
*We did learn who Wicked’s father was, so there is another one.
*No one assembled Snow’s crib using magic. :( Alex adds “Yet.”
Here are what we predict will happen next:
*I am more convinced than ever that Snow’s baby is a Time Lord, considering that Wicked needs it to time travel. It is going to hurt giving birth to a TARDIS! Alex again has corrected me and said it could be a Time Lady. Please don’t name your Time Baby Leopold! Charming is right, people will make fun of him.
*Wicked will go back in time, but she will accidentally take everyone back with her and they will foil her plans. Alex believes that the time travel will eventually take us to Neverland, because he hates me.
*They will kill Henry again, and he will come back to life again, because Storybrook is adjacent to South Park through a worm hole, and Henry is Kenny. I will cry when Henry dies because he reminds me of Alex. Again. Alex believes that they actually might have a set of Dragon Balls. He also says Henry will definitely die, which means that Neal will figure out a way to come back to life and save him. Let me dream!
*Since we are getting Glinda next week, maybe we will get to see some munchkins or the Lollipop Guild or the sister that gets a house dropped on her. Alex doesn’t care.
*I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner! We will finally learn if Aurora and Phillip had a boy or a girl! We will meet their baby and it will also be a Time Lord, because why not? Alex thinks it will be a Saiyan. I hope it will be a girl and they will name her Nala, just for kicks. It’s not like we are ever getting lions on this show.
*We will see Peter Pan again, and I will cheer because it is Robbie Kay, but I will also weep because NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!! Alex says I am a psycho. That is rich coming from him. He says he is also a psycho, but you can’t tell anyone or he will kill you in your sleep. Then he laughed an evil laugh. He’ll be 18 in 4 years, folks! Then he will be working at your stores, maybe in your hotels! Sleep well!
*We will find out that all of the Lost Boys are now winged monkeys.
*James Franco and Bruce Campbell will not show up, but they totally should. James Franco would chew up the scenery on this show to a degree that is not able to be calculated by any math at this point in time. Alex says maybe 20 years in the future we will be able to, but we will be involved in a nuclear war at that time that involves cyborgs or some, and I quote, bionic crap. Do you think it’s the internet doing this to him?
That is all we have for now. Catch you next week!