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Once Upon A Time(Bleeding Through)

Wow, this was a pretty astounding episode.  We learned who Wicked’s father was(glad I abandoned the good ship Rumple last week!), we saw ghost Cora pimp slap Regina down a hallway, and we learned how much more creepy the family tree almost got.

A random gardener pretending to be a prince is Wicked’s father.  That led to Cora almost marrying her daughter’s husband!  Before he married Snow’s mother!  Creeeeeeeepy!  Cora invoked the whole “Your best chance” line and I said to Alex “Another one?  Really?”  Weird.  I have to admit that I was jumping up and down a lot and reading text messages from my niece through the episode, so i probably missed some things, so there is a chance we will come back and amend this later.  Alex did call that Rumpy was trying to get his dagger back, but I was too squicked out to watch what was happening.  I was hoping that was the reason, though.

Let’s check out our past predictions and make some new ones, shall we?:

*Still no Rapunzel, so I am still right.

*I am so glad I decided last week to jump off the Rumpy is the daddy ship!  Good call, me.  Some random guy isn’t much better, but at least we have an answer.  Alex has nothing because he didn’t think Rumpy was the father anyway.

*Snow is the one who took some kind of weird trauma tonight, so Charming is beating me on this.  Alex says he is being a jerk and needs to get some brain trauma.

*Regina continued to make excellent progress this week.  She didn’t blame Snow for the fact that her mother tattled on Cora, and that is why Wicked is mad at them all.  She also made smoochies with Robin Hood.  Well done, Regina!

*Hook did not kiss Emma, so that is a point for me.  As always, Alex still does not think Hook is pretty, and I do.  

*We did learn who Wicked’s father was, so there is another one.

*No one assembled Snow’s crib using magic.  :(  Alex adds “Yet.”

Here are what we predict will happen next:

*I am more convinced than ever that Snow’s baby is a Time Lord, considering that Wicked needs it to time travel.  It is going to hurt giving birth to a TARDIS!  Alex again has corrected me and said it could be a Time Lady.  Please don’t name your Time Baby Leopold!  Charming is right, people will make fun of him.

*Wicked will go back in time, but she will accidentally take everyone back with her and they will foil her plans.  Alex believes that the time travel will eventually take us to Neverland, because he hates me.

*They will kill Henry again, and he will come back to life again, because Storybrook is adjacent to South Park through a worm hole, and Henry is Kenny.  I will cry when Henry dies because he reminds me of Alex.  Again.  Alex believes that they actually might have a set of Dragon Balls.  He also says Henry will definitely die, which means that Neal will figure out a way to come back to life and save him.  Let me dream!

*Since we are getting Glinda next week, maybe we will get to see some munchkins or the Lollipop Guild or the sister that gets a house dropped on her.  Alex doesn’t care.

*I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner!  We will finally learn if Aurora and Phillip had a boy or a girl!  We will meet their baby and it will also be a Time Lord, because why not?  Alex thinks it will be a Saiyan.  I hope it will be a girl and they will name her Nala, just for kicks.  It’s not like we are ever getting lions on this show.

*We will see Peter Pan again, and I will cheer because it is Robbie Kay, but I will also weep because NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!  Alex says I am a psycho.  That is rich coming from him.  He says he is also a psycho, but you can’t tell anyone or he will kill you in your sleep.  Then he laughed an evil laugh.  He’ll be 18 in 4 years, folks!  Then he will be working at your stores, maybe in your hotels!  Sleep well!

*We will find out that all of the Lost Boys are now winged monkeys.  

*James Franco and Bruce Campbell will not show up, but they totally should.  James Franco would chew up the scenery on this show to a degree that is not able to be calculated by any math at this point in time.  Alex says maybe 20 years in the future we will be able to, but we will be involved in a nuclear war at that time that involves cyborgs or some, and I quote, bionic crap.  Do you think it’s the internet doing this to him?

That is all we have for now.  Catch you next week!

Once Upon A Time(The Jolly Roger)

That is what Hook was being vague about????  That is an even weirder reveal than what Snow did to “betray” Regina that one time.  Hook behaved like a pirate on a pirate ship?  OMG, shocking!!!  *rolls eyes*  My favorite part of this episode came when I discovered that we truly are members of the Charming family.  Alex is Henry, I am Emma, and Charming is totally my dad!  My dad used to let me steer the car when I was a kid, just not into mailboxes.  At least, I don’t think I hit any mailboxes.  I will ask my dad after I tell him he has to learn how to sword fight and my mom needs to learn archery.  I will have to cross her over to Arrow and send her to Parkour Island, because she doesn’t watch this show.  

How many more ways is this show going to make me sad for Hook?  I hope if they kill Wicked, it undoes the kiss whammy.  :(  I have to say, Alex called one thing correctly and I was wrong about mine.  I thought we would find out Black Beard was Prince Eric.  Wrong.  Alex called from the beginning that Ariel was really the witch.  Right.  Good job, Alex.  :D

Ok, let’s deal with last week’s predictions and make some new ones, shall we?:

*Rapunzel still did not show up, so I am still right.  Alex still doesn’t care about Rapunzel.  

*I have rethought my stance on Rumpy being Wicked’s father.  I don’t think it fits the timeline.  It seems like Cora didn’t know him long enough for it to happen, plus she married Prince Henry and had Regina, so I am thinking Wicked happened before she met any of them.  Now that I have said that, they will say Rumpy is her father and I hill bang my head off of my laptop.  Alex doesn’t think he is her father either.  That just means he is.

*Hook continued to be vague, but I think we are done with it now.  Alex still doesn’t think Hook is pretty.  Tough customer, my Alex is.  

*I can’t believe that Henry’s driving adventure did not inflict further head trauma upon Charming!  Still, we haven’t reached the end of the season, and Hook was dealt some head trauma, so there ya go.  Alex says that if he was Henry, he would have slammed on the brakes just to cause Charming some head trauma……seriously, should I worry about this?  He will be 16 in 2 years, and now I am worried about my dad being in a car with him.

*Hook did not die.  Yay!  We just high-fived about that!  

*Hook didn’t get run over by anything, unless we are counting Ariel with a dagger.  Alex says we count it.  So, Hook was run over by Ariel with a dagger, which is something ridiculous, so we win.  :D

*Hook didn’t kiss anyone, but he did get smacked, so I was half right.

*Regina did continue to make awesome progress.  I hope this will continue.

Predictions for next week:

*Hook will not kiss Emma.  He might get Smee(How did he get un-ratted, by the way?) and leave town for a bit so he won’t be tempted.  There is always the chance that Emma will kiss him.  Alex thinks Smee was un-ratted when they traveled back to the Enchanted Forest, and then he stayed human once they came back to Storybrooke.  Makes sense to me.

*With Cora coming back, we will learn who Wicked’s father is either next week or the week after or the season finale.  The season finale is at the end of May, probable, so it will be one of those 3 weeks in particular.  

*Haunted house/more Poltergeist references!  Yay!  Alex is excited to see a haunted house that has never been on the show before.  

*Someone will magically assemble the crib for Snow’s baby.  Alex believes it will be Emma.  Maybe it will be Snow’s Time Lord baby!  

*Alex thinks that Henry should stay away from cars until he is 16.  I think he should stay away from them forever because he destroyed government property.  Also, I predict that Henry will drive Charming’s truck into battle and save the day once he gets his memories back, because why not?  Alex believes he will drive it into the ocean.  Seriously, should I call a therapist?  

Well, that is it for now.  See you next week!  We still miss you, Neal!  Thank you for not dying, Hook!

Once Upon A Time(It’s Not Easy Being Green)

This episode had the best line ever uttered by Regina ever: “Never bring a heart to a witch fight.”  Seriously, that was almost as good as Emma asking if Hook was going to give Henry tips on eyeliner.  Alex has forbidden me to put eyeliner on him if Henry does decide he should wear it.  It is good for him to set boundaries lol.  Was I bummed that James Franco wasn’t the Wizard of Oz?  Oddly, yes.  Is it weird that the Wizard of Oz was turned into a flying monkey who proposed to Emma?  Yup.  How is Dorothy supposed to meet him now?  I am glad they went with the original silver slippers instead of ruby ones.  Otherwise, this was not really a remarkable episode.  I am glad that they didn’t leave Neal in the woods and decided to bury him.  It is going to be really sad when Henry gets his memories back.  :(

Alex thought Rumpy saying “I will kill you” all matter-of-factly was pretty funny, which it was pretty funny.  Just “I will kill you.  No big.  See you later, alligator.”  

So, let’s go over our past predictions and make some new ones, shall we?:

*That opening actually fooled me for a second, and I thought that was Snow’s baby being sent back to the Enchanted Forest until the parents spoke.  I don’t think the baby will be sent back there alone anymore, but I will leave it on the table anyway.  Alex doesn’t think this will happen either.

*Rapunzel still hasn’t shown up, so that still stands.  Alex says “Meh.”

*I was right about Wicked being raised by adoptive parents, so Rumpy as her father is still a possibility as far as I am concerned.  Alex doesn’t care.

*Hook was vague again this week, but he was vague with Henry for valid reasons.  Alex still stands firm on Hook not being pretty.  Poor Hook.  I think he is pretty.

*No further head trauma for Charming.  Good for him.  The season still isn’t over.  Alex completely agrees that Charming will get more head trauma.

*They did bury Neal, so I(thankfully) got that right.

*Snow did not have her baby, but she didn’t go into labor either. 

*Someone got thrown through the glass in the clock tower, but that was in the preview, so I cheated.  Alex told me last week that I was cheating.

*Neal is still dead and did not steal the dagger.  Bummer.  :(  Alex thinks it is a bummer, too.  He liked Neal.

Predictions for next week:

*THEY BETTER NOT KILL HOOK!!!!!!!!!!!  Seriously, stop taking all my pretty away.  First it was Graham, then it was Neal.  Leave my eye candy alone, show!  Alex does not think they should kill Hook either, and said he will hunt them down and kill them if they do.  Should I be worried about that?  He says no, so I will trust his opinion.  

*Hook will not(but absolutely should) be run over hysterically by a car like that episode last season.  I laughed so hard at that and I don’t know why. Alex laughed at it, too.  He does agree that he should be run over, but not killed.  Maybe they can do that every season and make it increasingly more ridiculous things that run him over, like a boat or a horse-drawn carriage or Henry riding a bike.

*Hook will kiss at least one female cast member, and will possibly get smacked by at least one for doing it.  Alex agrees, and says it will probably be Emma, at a very inapprotune time.  Yes, those were his exact words.  My kid is smart.  

*Wicked wants Regina’s heart and stole Charming’s courage, so obviously she will need a brain, but who on earth will she get any sort of smarts from in that town?  Rumpy?  Henry?  Dr. Hopper/Jiminy Cricket?  Pongo?  Where is Pongo anyway?  Alex is not sure where she will find a brain either.

*Regina will continue to make awesome progress as a character, and will fall for Robin Hood even more.

*If this plan to go back to the beginning works, does that mean we get Graham back?  Alex seemed excited that they might go back in time, because it would mean reliving the show from the beginning.  Alex is awesome that way.  Alex also said “Get ready to go back to Neverland!”  Sometimes he sucks too lol.

*My most bold prediction yet…..Snow’s baby is a TIME LORD!!!!!!!!!!  She will give birth to either David Tennent or Matt Smith.  Christopher Eccelston is too busy getting beat up by Thor and avoiding being a Time Lord to be Snow’s Time Lord baby.  Alex just pointed out that the baby doesn’t have a gender yet, so maybe it will be a Time Lady.  Excellent point, Alex.  

*Seriously, Hook better not die.  

See everyone next week!

Once Upon a Time(Quiet Minds)

So much for my winged monkey theory. :( I am sad that Neal is dead, and even sadder that Emma didn’t try true love’s kiss and they left his body in the woods. Really, people? You buried a cricket that wasn’t even dead and you left Neal in the woods to be eaten by animals? Alex and I did decide to call him RumpleFire though, so there is that.
So, as for last week’s predictions:
*Neal will not be turning into a winged monkey. However, something bad did happen to him after reuniting with Emma, so I will take that as a win.
*Snow’s baby hasn’t been born yet, so I will leave the Enchanted Forest thing on the table for now.
*We didn’t see Rapunzel, so that still stands.
*Rumpy only ran through the forest for part of the episode, turned into Neal, and was found by Emma, so(thankfully) the Peter Pan thing was wrong. I am still not sure if he is Wicked’s dad, so I will leave that on the table, too.
*I can’t even believe my Regina prediction was wrong lol.
*Hook was still vague in this episode, so I was right. Alex still doesn’t think Hook is pretty.
*Charming did not receive any head trauma in this episode, but the season isn’t over yet.
Predictions for next week:
*Hopefully someone will mention burying Neal or put him in a glass coffin or something.
*Snow will not have her baby yet. She might go into labor by the end of the episode.
*Regina will whine either about Henry not remembering her or that Robin Hood is her soul mate. Both of these things will be further blamed on Emma.
*Hook will continue to be vague for at least one more episode, maybe 2.
*There will be a magical showdown in the middle of town, and no one will explain who bothered to fix the glass in the clock tower that someone gets thrown through. While it will probably be one of the magic users, how funny would it be if it ended up being part of my Charming head trauma count?
*Neal is not dead and will steal the Dark One dagger while everyone is distracted by said magic battle.
*Henry will get his memories back the week after next.

That’s it for now. If he is really dead, I will miss Bae/Neal. Good bye for now, Michael Raymond James!

Once Upon A Time(The Tower)

Wow, this was a great episode.  It didn’t confirm any of our predictions, but it confused me by throwing an actor’s name in the credits when they didn’t appear in the episode yet again.  From the looks of next week’s preview, Neal is not a winged monkey.  Yet.  ;)

Why did Rapunzel’s hair get so manageable?  She still had about 50 ft. of it in that tower when she hacked off, what, 30?  Whatever, still fun.  I also thought David’s nightmare at the beginning turned into a shout-out to Poltergeist near the end, to the point that I yelled “Don’t go into the light, Carol Anne!”  Alex looked at me like I was nuts.  :D  I also liked the bike with the wicker basket on the porch of the Wicked Witch.  A nice nod to the movie, only who will be the Toto that ends up in that basket?  Henry?  Will she turn Neal into an adorable dog instead of a winged monkey?  Also, why did they decide that The Ring was a good thing to reference in this show about fairy tale characters?  Alex was all “Woah!  What happened?  Why is she lagging?!?”  Wait, that was 2 separate horror movie references in one episode!  What???

Alex just wants Henry to get his memories back already.  No, really, that is all he has to add to this.  Let’s chalk that up to “Lol, teenager, who is now watching Arrow and playing Minecraft while I write this.”  

Our predictions for next week:

*Now Neal will become a winged monkey.  He looks like something weird is happening to him, and I still predict winged monkey.  Also, he will turn into said monkey as soon as he is reunited with Emma.  

*Snow’s baby is going to end up in the Enchanted Forest alone like a reverse Emma situation.

*We will never see Rapunzel again.  She will be living with Cinderella, and possibly Ariel, since we never see her either.  If you are not a princess named Snow or Aurora, no one cares about you.

*Rumpy will run through the forest for about 3 episodes until someone finds him.  That someone will be Peter Pan.  He still may be Wicked’s father and she is just a weirdo who gets weirdly close to kissing her dad.  Whoever raised her was her stepfather or adopted father or something. 

*Regina will pout about Henry not remembering her.(I need to be guaranteed at least one of these turns out right, after all.)

*Hook will continue to be intentionally vague about what he did back in the Enchanted Forest for 2 more episodes, tops.  It will annoy Emma some more, as well as us in the viewing audience, but we also don’t care because Hook is so pretty to look at.  That is my opinion.  Alex does not think Hook is pretty.  I just confirmed this with him now.  He also says “No offense, Hook, but still.”  

*David/Charming will sustain at least 5 more instances of head trauma before people start to realize that hitting him the head so many times might not be the best plan.  Alright, 10 more instances of head trauma.  

That’s it for now.  See you next time!

Once Upon a Time(Witch Hunt)

Since it is Wednesday, I am just going to say the things Alex and I called and our predictions for this Sunday’s episode. Spoilers, obviously.

*I called that the Wicked Witch was related to Regina when she mentioned blood magic 89 times.
*I called Rumpy showing up at the end. Alex and I high fived over it and did a happy dance.

Our predictions for the next episode:
*Rumpy is the Wicked Witch’s dad, which makes Henry’s family tree that much more ridiculous.
*Baelfire/Neal is a winged monkey.
*Snow’s new baby will be a winged monkey too, because Wicked is “helping” her.

This is just the beginning, and we are in the middle of a marathon of Arrow. Here is a minor Arrow prediction:
*One day, the opening will say “My name is Oliver Queen. I was on an island for 5 years and I returned home to find my city was full of Doctor Who characters and at least one person from NCIS.”
*Also, I predict that 3 more people will find out Oliver’s “secret” identity by the season finale.

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